then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
