wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
