I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
