I'm lost and stupid without you.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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