Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
