Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
