Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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