Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
