I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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