You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
