idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
