Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
