we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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