Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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