i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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