I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
