your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
