bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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