At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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