So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
