Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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