you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
