I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
