The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
