You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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