so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
