On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
