he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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