i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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