I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
