Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
