Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
