i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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