Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
