My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
