I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
