Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
