you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
