i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
