I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
