I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We left an ass print on the piano.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
