They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
