We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
