i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
