Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
