margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
