He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
