so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
