The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
