throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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