How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
