Even the bartender felt bad for me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Green mimosas i think yes
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
