who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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