So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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