You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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